once upon a time, there was this beautiful farmgirl from turlock, california who milked the cows and rode the horses and sat on the tractors and walked barefoot in the cornfields.

then one day, this beautiful farmgirl from turlock sent her photos off to maxim magazine because they had a lil contest that is really a BIG contest that is called maxim’s hometown hotties … thousands of amazing women from all over planet earth send pictures of themselves wearing bikinis or lingerie or towels so that, perchance, they may be the one selected as maxim’s hometown hottie.

well, when our beautiful farmgirl from turlock sent her pictures off to maxim, she decided to also include a video of herself milking cows, riding horses, sitting on tractors & walking barefoot in the cornfields … and we all fell in love with this down-home farmgirl from turlock. so much so, that everybody who hangs out at fresno beach voted & voted & voted every day since september 30 for the beautiful farmgirl from turlock (and even before then).

well, guess what, you beach bums???

KRISTIN GUSTAFSON WON!!!!!!!

that’s right, our farmgirl amiga KRISTIN GUSTAFSON WON THE WHOLE DANG THANG!!!!!!! … i got an email from maxim publicist nora haynes saying: Kristin Gustafson, has been named Maxim’s 2009 Hometown Hottie, beating out more than 5,000 lovely ladies who entered the annual Hometown Hotties contest. Gustafson, 22, hails from small town Turlock, CA (pop: 70, 158), and says of her quintessential small-town girl status, “…I’ve been in Turlock all my life. I went to the same high school my dad went to! We’re not a very big town but we’re nicknamed the City of God for some reason. Your guess is as good as mine.” Kristin Gustafson appears in the January issue of Maxim (on sale December 22) and her full profile is on Maxim.com. Go behind-the-scenes with the top 10 finalists in this year’s competition when “Maxim Hometown Hotties 2009,” a 30-minute all-access special, premieres on E! (December 25, 8pm ET/PT).

so, see. dreams do come true when you just believe and do your chores … thank you, beach bums, for voting for the beautiful farmgirl from turlock … you helped make this fairytale come true.

and it’s a fairytale that’s better than cinderella because kristin is real … and also because i never did understand that “bibbidi-bobbidi-boo” song.

so please don’t confuse kristin’s fairytale with cinderella’s fairytale because kristin walks in cornfields, not pumpkin patches … and she doesn’t wear glass slippers because she likes to walk around barefoot … oh yeah, and kristin doesn’t have to sell herself out like cinderella did at prince charming’s ball, vying for the prince’s affections like she was on “flavor of love” or something.

… photo by paige craig / maxim digital