it's no old folks home, yo! ... illustration by san antonio express-news

flash aka dwyane wade aka gordon ... ... photo by hoop magazine

shaq & penny. shaq & kobe. shaq & d-wade. shaq & nash. shaq & lebron. now meet the new rob & big ... twitpic by justin bieber

"seen wade do it / seen bosh do it / then the cav jersey / caught lighter fluid ..." -- affion crockett

matt bonner's new 4-year, $16-million deal with da spurs now allows our favorite "sandwich hunter" to splurge on "double meat" on road trips ... but basketball jones is here to let us know that the spurs big 3 (-point shooter) hasn't gone all south beach on us ... the red rocket still knows how to make a good homemade sandwich and teach us a thing or two on how to do it. good to see him following tim duncan's lead ... 'cause that's how we roll on the sandwich antonio spurs. The Jones: Cooking with Matt Bonner from The Basketball Jones on Vimeo.

spurs need to hire andrés cantor, just so he can say, "TIAGOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" ... ... photo by john davenport / san antonio express-news

what's the best thing about lebron + d-wade + bosh? ... more heat games on tv, which equals more ashley allen for all of us. ... photo by john peden / sports illustrated More Sports Illustrated Swimsuit: Bodypainting | NBA Dancers | Danica Patrick | Tennis Stars | All Models | Video Collection

just heard jay-z's "empire state of mind" remix: "if jeezy's payin' amare, i'm payin' travis outlaw" ... doesn't quite have the same ring to it, huh? ... espn.com illustration

just got word from the nba: miami has changed its official team name from the miami heat to THE MIAMI GLOBETROTTERS!!! ... ladies and gents, meet your global icons: "MEADOWLARK JAMES!! CURLY WADE!! AND GOOSE BOSH!!" as we speak, erik spoelstra is reportedly rewriting his team's playbook, incorporating the "sweet georgia brown" warmup routine and the confetti in the bucket trick. no word on whether the washington wizards have become the washington generals yet. ... photo by joe murphy / getty images/nbae [update: the three kings speak]

stephen a. smith said it so it MUST be true ... oliver asadi shot it so it MUST be a reality show ... caa reps will smith AND lebron & d-wade & bosh so YOU DO THE MATH. "WELCOME TO MIAMI/BIENVENIDO A MIAMI." meet the biggest trio to hit miami since scarface, don johnson & ace ventura ... ... photo by nba.com

sounds better than cleveland to me. ... photo by nbae / getty images via yahoo! sports

1997. 1996. 1992 ... i guess an nba legend comes around only thrice a decade (six times a decade if we count kg, dirk & nash from the '90s). but does anybody in today's 2010 nba draft have what it takes? my #1 guess at legendary status is john wall ... derrick favors has a shot (hope the philly sixers or brooklyn nets draft him) ... rooting for evan turner ... and my heart is with fresno state beloved bulldog paul george (don't think my spurs have a chance to get him now). but like i said, a true nba legend only comes around once every two or three or four years. enjoy the draft thursday ... and relive some great '90s drafts with these active living legends ... 1997 1996 1992

this song is actually pretty good ... really! ... it's actually really good ... i'm serious. ... video by allhiphop.com ... photo by wally skalij / los angeles times

first the press conference ... then the club ... "queensbridge." ... photo via profile kiss

everybody is now talking about kobe's place in history ... i think by looking at the most accomplished nba mvps in basketball history, it's easy to see kobe is now a top 10 all-timer ... and at age 31, he has plenty of time to climb even higher on this list as he stacks up even more nba accomplishments in the future ... i can't put kobe up there just yet with russell, jordan & kareem. but kobe has certainly entered the pantheon of magic, duncan, shaq, wilt & bird. take a look yourself & rank kobe where you see fit in comparison to his fellow nba legends ... MEDAL COUNTS OF THE NBA MVPs players.............rings..mvp..top5...russell...allnba...years LeBron James......0.......2.......5.........0.........6..........7 Kobe Bryant.........5.......1.......8.........2........12........14 Dirk Nowitzki........0.......1.......3.........0........10........12 Steve Nash..........0.......2.......3.........0.........7........14 Kevin Garnett.......1.......1.......4.........0.........9........15 Tim Duncan.........4.......2.......9.........3........13........13 Allen Iverson........0.......1.......3.........0.........7........14 Shaquille O’Neal..4.......1.......8.........3........14........17 Karl Malone ........0.......2.......8.........0........14*.......19 Michael Jordan...6.......5.......10........6........11*.......15 David Robinson...2.......1.......5.........0........10........14 H. Olajuwon.........2.......1.......6.........2........12*......18 Charles Barkley...0.......1.......4.........0........11*.......16 Magic Johnson....5.......3.......9.........3........10*.......13 Larry Bird............3.......3.......9.........2........10*......13 Moses Malone@..1.......3.......5.........1.........8*.......19 Julius Erving@....1.......1.......5.........0.........7*.......11 K. Abdul-Jabbar...6.......6.....15.........2........15*.......20 Bill Walton...........1.......1.......2.........1.........2*.......10 Bob McAdoo........2.......1.......3.........0.........2*.......14 Dave Cowens......2.......1.......4.........0.........3*.......10 Willis Reed..........2.......1.......3.........2.........5*.......10 Wes Unseld ........1.......1.......1.........1.........1*.......13 Wilt Chamberlain..2.......5.....10.........1#......10*.......14 Bill Russell........11.......5......11........0#......11*.......13 Oscar Robertson..1.......1.......9.........0#......11*.......14 Bob Pettit............1.......2+.....8.........0#......11*.......11 Bob Cousy..........6.......1+.....4+........0#......12*......14 * In the 1988-89 season, the NBA expanded its All-NBA teams from two teams to three teams. # The NBA did not have a Russell NBA Finals MVP award until the 1968-69 season. @ Only NBA honors are included above ... for the record, Malone had an additional 2 ABA seasons ... Erving had 5 additional ABA seasons with 2 ABA rings, ...

GAME SEVEN TONIGHT, BABY!!!!!!! ...

really good movie ... go see it june 25 ... and go read my story on "grown ups" @ hoopmag.com nowwww ... :)

rick fox with rick fox & rick fox ... Fox vs. Fox with Rick Fox from Rick Fox

celtics & shrek lead the green movement ...

ray allen's still shuttlin' like shuttlesworth after all these years ... ... photo by lost angeles

[update: fyi, my friends @ hoop also ran this column over at hoopmag.com] back in the '90s i used to make a yearly call to coach wooden ... his number was listed in the phonebook back then--believe it or not--and he would always answer his calls. so when i wrote for sport magazine from 1992-2000 and needed a special quote, THAT'S when i'd give coach a call ... mind you, i never wanted to abuse the privilege and bother the 80-something-year-old legend by calling him more often than that ... but once a year, i figured, was enough time to stay in touch with coach, while also getting his insights on life & basketball. and everytime i spoke with the former ucla basketball coach, it was like "tuesdays with morrie" ... we'd talk for 20-30 minutes, and in that short time, i'd get more insight there than i did in some semester-long courses in college. he was a special man with a special way of viewing life. john stockton was his favorite nba player. the only player coach wooden said he'd pay to see. now mind you, for years, i never had a good relationship with stockton. i would try & try to break the ice ...

pictured above: kevin garnett & kobe bryant if you're a celtics fan, take heart in the fact that t.r.u.e. has picked against boston the last 2 rounds and was wrong both times ... if you're a lakers fan, take heart in the fact that t.r.u.e. picked los angeles to win the last 2 rounds and was right both times. see? ... if you're a lakers fan, we're always right ... and if you're a celtics fan, we're always wrong ... we aim to please here @ the beach. T.R.U.E. Projection 2010 NBA Finals Los Angeles Lakers vs. Boston Celtics LAKERS Series Win Probability: 63% CELTICS Series Win Probability: 37% LAKERS score: +6.80 CELTICS score: +3.55 LOS ANGELES LAKERS ... T.R.U.E. (Reg/Post) ... Proj. PT ... Proj. T-d Kobe Bryant ... +8.25/+9.28 ... 40 mpg ... +6.87/+7.73 Pau Gasol ... +3.22/+3.37 ... 39 mpg ... +2.62/+2.74 Ron Artest ... -0.59/-1.09 ... 37 mpg ... -0.45/-0.84 Lamar Odom ... +3.31/+2.69 ... 37 mpg ... +2.55/+2.07 Derek Fisher ... -2.74/-4.51 ... 34 mpg ... -1.94/-3.19 Andrew Bynum ... +1.13/-0.75 ... 20 mpg ... +0.47/-0.31 Shannon Brown ... -2.84/-6.28 ... 15 mpg ... -0.89/-1.97 Jordan Farmar ... -2.81/-2.44 ... 13 mpg ... -0.76/-0.66 Luke Walton ... +0.61*/-4.78* ... 5 mpg ... +0.06/-0.50 LAKERS projected score: +8.53/+5.07 = +6.80 BOSTON CELTICS ... T.R.U.E. (Reg/Post) ... Proj. ...

tim duncan & tony parker were the celeb headliners at ufc 114 in las vegas saturday night ... got in some poker. got in some partying @ beso to celebrate tony's 28th birthday with wife eva ... then t. & the boys hit the big rashad-rampage ufc 114 fight, only to be booed loudly by the mgm grand crowd when timmy's face showed up on the bigscreen. yes. las vegas is still a laker town, boys, lol ... and contrary to reports, we cannot confirm anything about a casino brawl with seth green. ... photos by tony parker [nsfw vid]

in tribute to the nba's two biggest fooootball fans, here's kobe bryant & steve nash doing what they do best ... okay, doing what they do second best. it's the WC: Western Conference meets World Cup ... ... photo by david sherman / getty images via espn

the bullies got bullied back in game 5, and i know the celtics have some actors (paul pierce), but some of these hits looked serious. looks like game 6 friday is gonna be as heated as ufc 114 saturday, with dana white becoming the new nba commish for the rest of this series. (i'm hoping--as most people are--that the nba rightfully rescinds one unjust T on perkins wednesday, so that he can play friday) fyi, these are the two most volatile teams in the nba ... the boston celtics have 27 technicals in 16 playoff games (1.7 per game), while the orlando magic has 20 in 13 (1.5) ... nobody else in the nba is even close to that on a per game basis ... also, in the regular season, kendrick perkins & dwight howard led the association in techs with 15, rasheed wallace tied kobe bryant for 3rd with 14, while matt barnes tied for 8th with 10 ... so stepping outside the lines is what these guys are known for. yes, the ecf will definitely be a good prelim to the ufc this weekend.